I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm too high and old for this...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
