if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
