When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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