I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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