ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Enjoy the penises
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
