If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
