Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
