I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
