For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize