he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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