I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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