But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
