it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
