Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
