I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
