she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
