I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
