my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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