lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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