My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
