This is not my ceiling
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
