..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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