Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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