best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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