Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
