I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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