Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
