So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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