JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
