I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
