Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
