Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
