I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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