i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My penis needs a shock collar
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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