it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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