you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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