just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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