very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
