the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
