Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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