what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
