you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
