i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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