yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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