I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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