Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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