he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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