He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
