Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
