please come you make the beer taste better
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
