I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
