Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
