why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
