Tell her she can't have a vagina
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
