Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
