You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize