awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
