Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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