He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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