i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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