You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize