Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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