My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
