I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
